perjantai, 25. tammikuu 2008

Dont Wanna Be Alone.

I was an Violent kid. I hitted one kid  and made her live miserable during five years. I dont  regret anything more than what i did to this girl how was actually kindof my friend. But this isnt the thing what i wanna write about now. So I havent been doing this kind of behavior or bullying in years but last week i Hitted Someone. She is the new bestfriend of my oldest friend. And whats annoying about her? Besides the fact that my friends love her their constantly hugging her and showing emotions. Shes miss Perfect. And She Hates Me. I wasnt in School for a week and When i come back they do what we always do pretended that nothing has happened.. But It has. and now My Two friends are with her on a sleepover party without me. I would cry. But I havent been able to do that in weeks.
7 Lähettänyt: Jayden - 25.1.2008 klo 14.15
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maanantai, 7. tammikuu 2008

I Believe.

Sometimes if people say that they believe in god other people start mocking them and using nicnames like " hihhuli" wich i found expecially amusing. But i guess thats not  a suprisse because everything that is different from the others is "worth" the nicnames. I myself take everything that is about my looks very hard but I, ve never tried to hide about my opinions ( even with the ones consuring other people)..

Im just saying that i do believe in god and im not feeling shame about it, i dont think that anyone should. I believe in lots of different thinks and people ( exspecially one) tease me all the time about my superstition..

2 Lähettänyt: Jayden - 7.1.2008 klo 16.42
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maanantai, 7. tammikuu 2008

I had a good day Until..

Yeah I Know that because school started today i should be like everyone else.. miserable, but i really like school cause in there i atleast have something to do about, and not just swell in the boring live of mine. That is the only place where i even somites feel that my social live isnt compeletly empty. My SoCalledFriends dont never bother to contact me during vacations and lets face it, their not so eager now either´so school is the only time i really spend time with them.. Anyway i went to the dentists office after school  and i wasnt paniced ( like usually) cause i knew that it was just going to be a simple checkup, but boi I was wrong. so heres the news that is really messing up my head.. Im getting braces. I cant evevn realise the fact that from next april to the next atleast 2 years of my life im gonna wear... I know that i really have to take them cause otherwise its risking my helth in ten years. But i mean really ,God, I am already fat and lonely but so far i have actually sometimes ( rarely) liked my face. Im starting to get really anguish just  thinking about it.
Kommentoi Lähettänyt: Jayden - 7.1.2008 klo 16.06
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lauantai, 5. tammikuu 2008

Year 2008

Will I become/ Can I Become a happy Person?

My resolution for this year is that When next newyears eve comes i can honestly say that im happy bý all the meanings of the word, i know thats a big decision and honestly i dont know how im going to do that. Okay so heres a litlle off Jayden 2007.

Im Overweight girl how doesnt have many friends and not even one good friend. I live alone with my mum( i dont think thats gonna change) and cause we are not very rich i dont have all the new goods like mp3 player or even a computer. Im really shy and i dont have any kind of self-confidence. I cry a lot and about very litlle things, litlle for anyone else is huge thing when it comes to me. I súffer from obsessions things that i have to do before i go to bed, i have to wash my hands everytime i touch on something thats not mine or sometimes after touching to something mine too if like my mum or friend is touched on it. Obsessions make me feel agony and sometimes i have a feeling that i just wanna suffocate or drown in  the shower, and i cant get ridd off that feeling.

So this year im trying to change all that i just dont know how.

2 Lähettänyt: Jayden - 5.1.2008 klo 13.42
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